精选经典爆笑英语笑话

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电脑问题

精选经典爆笑英语笑话

I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges,delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of yellow paper?"

我在惠普公司打印机部做技术支持工作已经有一个月了,有一天我接到一位客户的电话,她的问题我没办法解决。她的问题是:打印机不能打出来黄色,但是其它颜色都正常。这让我觉得很纳闷,因为三原色就是蓝、红、黄。我建议客户更换墨盒、删了驱动程序然后重新安装,但是都没有效果。我咨询同事们,他们也不知道该怎么办。经过两个多小时的交涉,我打算让客户把打印机寄给我们,这时候她平静地说了一句:“我是不是应该把这张黄纸扔了换一张白纸再打印试试。”

谁欠谁钱

A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250 due for a consultation.

律师的狗,没有拴而到处闲逛,它来到一家肉店,偷走了一块 烤肉。店主来到律师的办公室,问道“如果一条没栓的.狗从我的商店里偷了块肉,我有权利从狗的主人那里要回损失吗?律师答道:“完全可以”,“那你欠我 8.50美元,你的狗没栓而且今天从我的店里头了块肉”,律师什么都没说,马上给他写了一张支票。一些天后,店主打开邮箱,发现一封来自律师的信,信上写 道:咨询费250美元。

打气筒里面的气

The neighbor often borrowed my inflator.

One day, my four-year-old daughter suddenly told me: "Papa, what shall we do if the air of our inflator is used up?"

邻居经常借我家的打气筒。

有一天,4岁的女儿突然告诉我说:“爸爸,我们的打气筒里面的气用完了怎么办?”

视情况而定

One day a doctor went to a store and bought a pair of shoes. Before he left the shoes counter, he asked the salesgirl: "How long will this pair of shoes last?"

"It depends. If you don t use it, the shoes will never wear out."

Several days later the salesgirl fell ill and went to a hospital. And the happened to be the customer she served.

After the girl got the prescription from the doctor, she asked: "How soon will I get better with the medicine?"

"It depends." The doctor answered, "If you don t use it, you will never get better."

一天,一位医生到鞋店买了双鞋。他在离开柜台之前,问售货员:“这双鞋能穿多长时间?”

“视情况而定。如果您不穿它,那它们永远也不会坏。”

几天后,这位售货员病了,去医院看病。这位医生碰巧是那位顾客。

当售货员拿了处方后,问道:“吃了这药,我的病多长时间才能好呀?”

“视情况而定。”医生说,“如果你不吃药,你的病永远也好不了。”