“finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10。“
“qualifications: no education or experience。“
“i am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy。“
“my compensation should be at least equal to my age。“
“reason for leaving: it had to do with the irs, fbi and sec。“
“fired because i fought for lower pay。“
“size of employer: very tall, probably over 6’5“ 。
“ “please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date。“
“reason for leaving: my boss said the end of the world is near。“
“reason for leaving: the owner gave new meaning to the word ’paranoia。’ i prefer to elaborate privately。“
打字错误与语法错误
“here are my qualifications for you to overlook。“
“strengths: ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer。“
“i am a rabid typist。“
“work history: performed brain wave tests,1879-1981。“
“after receiving advice from several different angels, i have decided to pursue a new line of work。“
“accounting cleric。“
“as indicted, i have over five years of experience analyzing investments。“
“suspected to graduate early next year。“
“disposed of $2。5 billion in assets。“
“proven ability to track down and correct erors。“
“accomplishments: oversight of entire department。“
“am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details。“
“accomplishments: completed 11 years of high school。“
不应有的幽默
“note: keep this resume on top of the stack。 use all others to heat your house。“
“assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting。“
“but wait。。。there’s more。 you get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature。“
“i have an excellent track record, although i am not a horse。“
“my fortune cookie said, ’your next interview will result in a job’-and i like your company in particular。“
“title: another resume from the ’profiles in excellence’ series。“
“also known as: mr。 productivity, mr。 clever, mr。fix-it。“
“trustworthy references available upon request-if i give them a few bucks。“
“let’s meet so you can ’ooh’ and ’ahh’ over my experience。“